Do You Have Regrets?
Ponn’s Personals:
Do You Have Regrets?
Interesting question, huh?
Okay…so, here I am free-handing this post right now as I contemplate this very question: Do I Regret X, Y and Z?
Ultimately, I am an extremely private person.
Yes, you have not seen my picture anywhere on anything I publish…and whenever I’m interviewed, I share a disclosure that this the pictures from my best-selling book is *not* representative of me…it’s 3 years old, I’ve aged greatly due to my partial paralysis and extremely difficult physically and emotionally wrenching years…and well, I *chose* to keep my privacy.
I am not ashamed nor purposefully trying to hide-anything. I think my avatar “Woman Power” speaks 100,000 words more about me, then my smiling/grinning face anyways…
I read my new-found online colleague Vince’s bio that really hit home with me this week, as I thought about sharing photos online…and well, I’m convinced–I will not (not just because he’s not…but because of my choice to remain private)!
I actually going to ask *not* to publish it…and started this weekend…I know it has already caused problems…but, oh well.
I make my choices, and sometimes I feel compelled to “explain myself”. But, why? To satisfy others’ needs to know.
Three years ago when I ventured online, I vowed *never* to show my 3 gorgeous girls on the internet, or my hunk of a hubby either.
Yet…I was pulled and pushed to follow the norm…to publish a picture to show my “personal-side”…as if my writing is not personal-enough.
Honestly, I appreciate many of my colleagues and online friends, even the founder himself, David for starting the “Face Behind the Blog” meme…(although Doris tagged me) (and Ed) but, this I can not ever nor am I willing to participate in this.
I feel as I share as much as I’m willing to share already, and that’s the self-therapy I create in writing my posts.
Often people ask…why don’t you share your struggles of how can you type if your hands are partially paralyzed? I take tons of drugs and force myself–period.
Life without writing/typing was down-right depressing!
Others ask, oh so many questions…that I politely share ways out…rather than being as straight-forward as I always known to be: Non-applicable, or No response.
Do I have regrets?
Well, up to recently, I’ve always gained from my mistakes and saw flaws or mistakes are an opportunity to better myself.
But, I’m torn now…because what if I make the same mistakes over and over and hurt those who mean the most in my life? What if forgiveness can only be given with a finite-end?
I always believe in direct-communication, and never use “what ifs”, so in my attempt to apologize I asked these questions…and well, I’ve already caused great pain to another/others.
After all, we–you and I, are faliable, mortal, and not-All Powerful! Only God is.
We have feelings, pain and suffering…and we can cause this upon others. Is this the final test of actually having a ‘regret’ in this lifetime!?
Very much so.
Am I just being too hard on myself?
No…because the signs are not just in one place…its multiplied and multi-facted right now. Can the words “Sorry” have dminished meaning now? Of course.
Can I overcome this time in my life–like all the other obstacles I’ve empowered and fought against all my odds?
The problem is…it involves others.
Even if I overcome my mistake…can the others forgive and overcome my mistakes, flaws and mis-deeds?
Unlike physical, neurological, emotional pain…I can only turn to prayer now. I pray that forgiveness rises me and others to the next level together–and not apart.
I know God is All Merciful and Forgiving…but humans are not, and we must only be patient with time. Hopefully my overall being bares weight to all that I’ve become as a woman, and I truly learn to learn from my mistakes–once and for all.
What’s my biggest flaw? My *Big* Passionate, Stubborn, Self-Defeating Mouth!
The Women’s Empowerment Queen seeking Empowerment from you… Any thoughts you can or willing to share are most welcomed.
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Posted on May 27th, 2007 by Ponn Sabra
Filed under: Empowerment
Ponn,
This is a very well-written post and I appreciate your honesty and personal writing.
You’ve given me more of an insight into who you are, and I know it doesn’t always come easy.
I have the same high levels of respect for those who haven’t participated in the face behind the blog meme, as those who have, and I hope you can continue in your great efforts for a long time to come.
Bye for now!
If God forgives us, He means for us to forgive ourselves as well. Certainly learn from our mistakes and try not to keep repeating the same one … but as long as we are in this world, we’ll continue to fall short.
I admire all you have accomplished - I had a stroke and have neurological problems, so I have a small inkling of what you have gone through. However, I started relearning to type in therapy and I’m no longer paralyzed.
I remember an incident when I was in the interior landscape business. I was on my motorized scooter when I called on a client. She said, “If I had to use one of those things, I’d never go out in public.” My answer we make a choice every day about how we are going to live our lives and deal with whaever situation we’re in, and I choose to live and do all I can. You do the same and consequently inspire others.
David
Much thanks for your understanding, appreciation and support of my written words and thoughts.
Lillie
How do I begin to thank you for sharing yourself, your thoughts, experiences and personal empowerment?? You’ve brought a much needed grin to my face right now, as I sort this out to fruition.
I truly appreciate your time, efforts and support! Please continue to share your much needed inspiration and voice here as well
Okay…my grin just turned into a big smile now that I wrote that.
Peace, Ponn
[…] Questions work well for me too… […]
Hey Ponn, I’m glad you decided to listen to yourself and not collapse under peer pressure. Great heartfelt post, all the power to you..
-Vince
Hi Vince
Chuckle…you got it right…I guess this whole picture-thing did come from pressure. It’s not going well with the traditional news media though (being, my syndicated column has yet to be published, because my picture is ’supposedly’ a must-have”.
So, I think I’ll be working against the forces to stand firm on my point now…hmm…wonder how that’s gonna’ pan out.
Thanks for the support. Having “regrets” now, is something I have to deal with internally.
~ P
First of all, Ponn, big big hugs to you. I truly appreciate your openness and courage. Your writing has already displayed your forgiveness and true self and to me, this ‘face’ behind this blog is more than suffice for me to know you more. I pray that you continue to write and type as God grant you the strength and joy to do so. Your life has touched and will continue to bless others. I am so glad I know you and may the Lord fill you with new courage and strength each new day.
Doris
Thanks for your lovin’, support, and blessings. I, too, look forward to movin’ on.
~ P
Thanks Ponn. This is as much a “face behind the blog” as any photo. I totally understand and respect your desire to let your words do the talking. It’s great getting to know you.
Ed
No, thank you for your understanding, and appreciating my choice.
~ P
Ponn,
What a great and insightful article! I enjoyed reading it. Thanks
Cindy
Undoubtedly, it didn’t come our easily, so I’m glad you got a little something from it. My pleasure
With each day wiser in faith, belief and acceptance, I’m only today started to feel better about myself and my situation. Fortunately, I believe everyone involved grew stronger individually and collectively. I’m proud to say, we’re all growing *together* on this one.
In peace,
Ponn
Hi Ponn:
Why not the ‘Voice Behind the Blog’? I would love to interview you on my radio show ART+ which airs on public radio KDRT in Davis, CA and is podcast on iTunes. I believe that you are a great person and a great speaker and it will be a great privilege to hear your voice. You may also wish to experiment with adding small audio files to your blog, you may like that better than typing in the long run. Please let me know if and when you would like to do an interview, I am looking for a broadcast date of August, 07.
http://www.artplusradio.org
We can talk about the art of networking, your book, blog and anything else you would like.
Best Wishes,
Lili
ps. thanks a lot about your relationship with PRWeb and getting us the press release coupons
You are Great!
Hi Lili
Oh, I’s *love* to have audio and utilize my “voice behind this blog”!
It’s a time issue, priorities,etc. I have interviews I wanted to post and an intro, but my non-technie brain doesn’t allow me to work the wonders I have visioned in implementing voice to my website/blog.
And, yes, adding little audios here and there to start, is exactly what I want to do. I’m simply not a fast enough typer to keep up with all the posts I want desperately to share.
I know I’d easily be sucked into loving podcasting, so I think its God-sent that I’ve been too busy to work on the audio-side
[Meaning: He knows I’m already extremely busy with others things that adding one more would be a bit too much
]
Thank you for the interview request, very kind words, and flexibility to chose what to discuss for an upcoming show. I’ve never been on a public radio show before…so, you’re helping me get one-step closer to being interviewed on the NPR
As for PRWeb, it’s my absolute pleasure to share my resources/offers via my partners with you!
I couldn’t be half as great if You weren’t Great enough to notice! So, right back at ya!
You are Great Lili
Thanks for sharing!
Hi:
All you need for the audio is a microphone to plug to your PC and Audacity: an excellent free software that will record your audio when you
press a button and export the audio into a file
that you can put on the web.
Let me know if you need help using Audacity. I will be happy to walk you through it. After all you helped us all with the Press Release and the PRweb coupons and PRWeb is Excellent.. so thank you and I would like to return the favor!
Lili
[…] every trial, test, turmoil–I empower my way out of it! So, why stop now!? And, this time: YOU got my “voice” to reckon with! Dude-man! AudioAcrobat has come to rescue […]